


Starlight

by tabri2



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Interspecies Relationship?, M/M, Slow Burn, alien hunters au, i cant think of a better way to describe it, i mean kaworu is definitely an alien, ish, so theres that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9916253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabri2/pseuds/tabri2
Summary: After recently graduating high school, Shinji moves out to the only place he can afford, the middle of nowhere, and joins an alien hunting club mostly by accident.  This is all fine for him until he actually meets an alien, which he honestly hadn't expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow i cant believe im actually posting this but hey,,,take it. This is my first fic so please dont expect much im just hoping more people like the idea of shitty cryptid kaworu as much as I do. Also massive thanks to my friend who convinced me to actually write this and came up with like half if it lmao

Shinji stepped into the familiar basement sometime after ten PM, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he was instantly assaulted by the room’s two other inhabitants, and somewhat good friends, Touji and Kensuke.

“How the hell do you manage to be late every single time?” Kensuke announced as Shinji came to the realization that he definitely wasn’t awake enough to deal with this argument again.

“Hey, I’m only…” Shinji trailed off as he quickly pulled out his phone to check the time, which proved later than he had thought, “less than an hour late. Anyways, I wouldn't fall asleep before meetings if you didn’t make them so late at night.” Kensuke huffed indignantly at this, obviously about to launch back into his usual speech on how “alien clubs just can’t happen during daylight hours Shinji, They just can’t,” but before he could Shinji had already set his bag down and taken a seat next to Touji on the small couch in the corner, diverting his attention to whatever X-Files episode was playing on the small tv.

The basement was actually rather nice for what it was, and Kensuke had obviously gone to considerable efforts to make the “headquarters” (a name that the rest absolutely refused to ever mention due to a sense of dignity they somehow still tried to maintain) more comfortable. The ceiling was low and covered with enough old christmas lights and assorted lamps to brighten up the room considerably, and a large throw rug covered most of the ground. The couch where Shinji and Touji sat was in the corner faced a small television set that always seemed to be playing some old sci-fi movie or tv series, mostly just whatever Kensuke had been watching recently, and on the other side of the room laid a decent sized wooden table with an assortment of plates seemingly thrown on it amongst the remains of a practically abandoned dungeons and dragons game. More importantly, there was a large corkboard taking up most of one of the walls, covered in assorted pictures that were mostly taken by Kensuke, as well as a small computer desk setup.

Kensuke’s alien hunting club (which he refused to give an official name to for “fear of the government” or something like that) had apparently occupied this basement since he and Touji had started it in high school, and while most members left after graduation, the two had managed to stick around. Shinji had joined much more recently, having just moved into the small town somewhere near the dead center of nowhere when he found a flyer advertising the club in a desperate attempt to get more than two members. 

He and one other girl, who he later knew by Rei, had been the sole people attending the first meeting, and even though Shinji definitely didn’t intend to actually join, Kensuke had an incredibly easy time forcing him to. Rei hadn’t joined as easily, the girl was rarely at the meetings anyways, and when she was there she was exceptionally quiet. Nonetheless, she and Shinji had been accepted into the group readily, even if it was mostly out of desperation.

It seemed like Kensuke was already rushing around again the second Shinji had settled down on the couch, half running back up the stairs to his makeshift photo development room, excitedly yelling about something that Shinji couldn’t quite make out. As he turned to Touji in confusion, Touji let out a tired sigh before reaching over to mute the TV before offering an explanation.

“So you know how Kensuke does those camping trips sometimes?” He started, Shinji nodding for him to continue, “Well, I went with him this time to make sure he took care of himself, especially considering that he forgot to eat last time.” They both grimaced slightly at the memory of having to drive out to the middle of the desert to get him before Touji continued, “Anyways, while we were out there we saw some sort of weird light (probably a shooting star in my opinion, but whatever) and when we went to see what it was, Kensuke caught some pictures of some figure he said he saw a ways off. I’m assuming that’s what he’s getting to show you.”

As if on cue, Kensuke burst back into the room, taking the short flight of stairs two at a time, as he frantically waved the photos now in his hand. Shinji stood to greet him, but was already nearly mowed down by the other as he jammed the small stack of pictures in his face.

“Look! They’re finally done!” He exclaimed, seeming to switch between looking at the photos himself and shoving them violently at the other two every couple of seconds.

Touji, without even looking at the photos, sighed. “You know, if you just used a digital camera like a normal human being they wouldn’t take so long to develop.”

“Then it might be /traced/ Touji! God, how many times do I have to tell you this?” 

Shinji gingerly took the pictures from Kensuke to actually get a look at them while the two argued. Most of the pictures seemed to be entirely black, obviously taken late at night. A couple of them were more interesting though, one showing the white streak that Touji had described against the dark sky, the next with a vaguely humanoid blur with a seemingly faint glow blurring across the background of the picture.

“I mean, they’re interesting, but what do you even think it is?” Shinji asked as he handed back the pictures when the two had finally calmed down.

Kensuke almost looked offended at the question, grabbing a pen off of the nearby table to circle the blurry figure as if it wasn’t obvious already.

“Its an alien, obviously,” He rolled his eyes as he explained, “But more importantly, it’s the same as what I saw back in high school!” 

Shinji tried to follow the one sided conversation as Kensuke walked over to the large cork board, holding the pictures up next to some considerably older looking ones near the top corner. Shinji could admit that the pictures did look strikingly similar, although the blurs of the two pictures seemed to vary slightly in color, the old one seeming slightly more blue than white.

Kensuke observed the two pictures before pulling them all down and starting his ranting again, although he seemed to be calming down slightly. 

“This is what got me to start this club in the first place…” He trailed off as he seemed to almost talk to the photographs rather than Shinji, “I knew I would catch you someday…”

Shinji looked to Touji, who simply shrugged and moved to unmute the TV, obviously not fully sure what Kensuke was talking about either. After a moment, Kensuke walked up behind him, grabbing the remote out of his hand.

“No, We can’t just let this go, come on!” He said as he half dragged Touji to the table, shoving off whatever remained of the poor, forgotten d&d game and replacing it with both the old and new photographs. “We gotta see if we can find anything else here.”

-

As it turned out, the process of “finding anything else” in a measly four pictures simply involved them all staring at them with varying levels of intensity before eventually giving up and deciding to call it quits for the night as Shinji commented on it nearing 1 in the morning.

They all rose from the table, sharing a look of mildly crestfallen exhaustion as they agreed to meet again in a week like they usually did. Touji then moved to the couch and shrugged on his old bomber jacket before taking the up the stairs, Shinji trailing tiredly behind.

Just as Shinji was leaving the basement, though, Kensuke called out to him again, shoving the pictures into his hand the second he turned around.

“Can you keep looking at these until next time?” He more demanded than asked, as the pictures were already very much in Shinji’s hands. He nodded resignedly, figuring that he wouldn’t find anything in them that they hadn’t already seen anyways. He figured that he could at least get Kensuke to not obsess over them if he agreed to take them though, so that was reason enough.

 

-

As Shinji stepped out into the cold night air, Touji waved to him from in front of his red pickup truck.

“Hey, do you think you could come in tomorrow sometime?”  
“Sure.”

Touji owned an auto shop in town which had quickly become his life's work the moment he graduated high school. When Shinji joined the alien hunting club, still new to the town, relatively alone, and jobless, Touji had taken pity (and somewhat taken advantage) of him and asked him to start coming in and doing some of the auto shops paperwork. Shinji had agreed, and it ended up being a semi-regular job for him that he appreciated even if it was too boring for anyone else to want to do.

Shinji began the relatively short walk home, sinking a little into his hoodie as the cold night seemed to bite at him. For somewhere that gets so damn hot during the day, somehow the nights always seem to still be freezing, he thought bitterly, fighting his way out into the cold.

-

After a few minutes of walking, Shinji came to the small 50s themed diner that sat rather unceremoniously on the way from Kensuke’s house to the apartment complex that he lived in. It was a 24-hour cafe that had existed since god knows when, but was still rather welcoming in an odd way, covered in vaguely tacky decorations and posters.

Shinji took his usual seat in the back corner after sharing a slight smile of recognition with the usual late night waitress who went back to start his usual order of coffee. He somehow ended up coming here after nearly every meeting at Kensuke’s, as he often had trouble sleeping even if he was extremely tired. Despite this, he and the waitress had never actually spoken, merely regarded one another’s existence and returned to listening to whatever music was playing out of the old radio set up in the corner of the open kitchen counter.

Shinji settled into the gaudy teal cushion and sighed, pulling out Kensuke’s pictures to at least give one last look before likely forgetting about them entirely until next week, but just as he started the likely fruitless examination, his attention was drawn away by the sound of the somewhat obnoxious bells tied to the diner’s door. The sound would normally go entirely ignored, but it seemed to demand attention in the previous quietness, the radio cutting out as both Shinji and the waitress stared at the person at the door.

He was lean figure who half stumbled into the door, looking overall a little out of place and confused. He looked about Shinji’s age, but seemed to be dressed in an almost formal fashion, a long sleeved white shirt with plain black pants, which Shinji figured would have suited him if he hadn’t also looked entirely disheveled. He seemed like he had just been wandering around the empty desert outside, with his (also somewhat alarming) grayish-white hair standing up at odd angles as he calmly looked around the diner from the doorway.

Shinji realised he had been staring and quickly returned to looking down at the pictures as the waitress fiddled with the radio enough to fix it, figuring that whoever this was, he was probably better off avoiding him.

Then again, He thought, I’m not really one to judge considering I’m also in this diner past midnight.

Shinji was suddenly pulled from his thoughts as the person in the doorway suddenly sat down across from him, causing him to nearly jump out of his side of the booth. He blinked rapidly at the man sitting in front of him, his stark pale appearance making him almost look like a ghost in the bright diner.  
“Do I...Do I know you?”

“I don’t see how you could,” the other responded with a voice that Shinji deemed far too calm for the current situation.

“Can I ask why you’re sitting here then?”

“It’s an open seat, isn’t it?”

Shinji had no response to this besides simply gesturing at the rest of the diner, which in fact had nothing else but open seats. The unwanted tablemate didn’t seem to get the idea, though.

“Anyways, wouldn’t it be weird if I sat alone?” He asked with deadly seriousness, staring directly into Shinji.

“Well..I guess…” Shinji struggled under the other’s suddenly intense stare before being immediately cut off by a pale hand reaching fully across the table to grab the pictures that were still laying in front of Shinji.

“Hey, who are you anyways?!” He asked, getting frustrated now as he moved to grab the pictures back.

The other just kept his smile and gestured to the picture of the white figure.

“It seems you already know, considering you have a picture of me there.”

The waitress came by, calmly setting Shinji’s coffee down before turning to Kaworu, who asked for a soda as if nothing had happened. Shinji looked to the door and began to consider how quickly he could get there if he made a break for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im actually continuing this?? ALSO please note the change of tags, i finally think i figured out where i want this story to kinda go and its...much different than originally intended sweats..anyways I hope you like it!

Shinji watched as the waitress walked off and wondered if she either hadn’t noticed his silent cry for help, or had, and simply ignored it. Either way, the pale boy was still sitting in front of him in the diner booth, watching intently as he poured a couple of packets of sugar from the table into his coffee. After watching Shinji pour the sugar into his drink as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, he quickly grabbed a couple of packets himself and poured them into his soda, taking a sip as if nothing was wrong.

Shinji watched this whole process with his mouth slightly open, finally shaking his head slightly and deciding that this was currently the least of his worries.

“So, what’s your name, anyways?” He asked, figuring that was as good a place to start as any in meeting someone who was likely insane.

“My name is Kaworu Nagisa, but just Kaworu is fine,” the other boy smiled in reply, setting down the drink, “and what is your name?”

“Shinji...Shinji Ikari.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you! Even if it seems like you've already seen me…” Kaworu gestured to the pictures that still lay in front of Shinji, continuing to drink the disgustingly sugary drink. 

“Oh, yeah sorry...my friend likes to go look for aliens,” Shinji explained uncomfortably, starting to feel bad for just carrying around pictures of a stranger, “he’ll probably be disappointed when he finds out it wasn’t though…”

“Why would he be disappointed?” Kaworu asked, looking earnestly confused.

“Well I mean...Like I said, he was trying to get a picture of alien life.”

“He did.”

“But you said this was you?” Shinji was lost at this point, once again starting to wonder why he was still sitting here talking with someone he didn’t even know.

“It is me.”

“But you’re not….oh…” Shinji finally realised what the other was getting at, scanning his face for any indication that he was kidding and finding nothing but a mildly discomforting calm.

Shinji took a deep breath and finished the last of his coffee in a long drink, deciding that this was definitely an indication that it was time for him to go home and sleep the best he could. It was one thing for a stranger to just decide to sit down with him, but he wasn’t going to deal with it if he was just going to mock him.

This guy’s a pretty convincing liar, though, he thought as he got up from the booth, I wonder if he’s really going to all of this effort just to mess with me.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, good luck?” He wasn’t sure exactly what he was wishing Kaworu luck on, but he felt like it was needed, even if it came out as more of a question when he said it. He left a ten dollar bill on the table, figuring it would be enough to pay for both of their drinks as well as make up for the waitress having to deal with the whole fiasco with no escape.

 

-

 

It wasn’t until he had actually left the diner that he realised Kaworu had followed him out, laughing at himself for thinking the strange encounter would be over that quickly.

“Do you not have a place to stay or something?” He asked, Kaworu suddenly distinctly reminding him of a lost puppy in the flickering neon light of the diner sign.

“Well, no, considering i’m not even from Earth.” The other replied, showing no shame in following Shinji around, apparently.

Shinji looked the other up and down again, sighing as he considered his options. On one hand, he desperately wanted to go home and continue his life as he had been, as it had actually been going pretty alright for once, but on the other, he couldn’t see himself leaving Kaworu out in the cold like this, given he was actually telling the truth about not having a place to go.

One final cold wind blew across the empty parking lot, and Shinji nearly kicked himself as he took a long breath.

“Would you like to stay at my apartment for the night? It’s not anything special, and you’ll have to sleep on the couch, but at least it has a heater I guess…”

“Yes! Thank you very much Shinji.” Kaworu practically beamed as he moved to walk next to Shinji, who was regretting his decision slightly less at how happy it had seemed to make him.

He must really need help after all, Shinji considered as they walked against the brisk cold, maybe I can get him to a homeless shelter or something tomorrow, it's too late tonight though.

 

-

 

The walk back to the apartment proved relatively calm, the two sharing an only slightly awkward silence as they made the short journey. Shinji would occasionally glance over at Kaworu as he fought against the cold winds, only to see the other still looking relatively content. Sometimes Shinji thought he could even hear him humming slightly, and wondered how he could be so upbeat considering his situation.

 

-

 

He had never been more thankful to see his apartment complex when they finally reached it, and he quickly guided Kaworu back to where his first-floor apartment was situated in one of the back buildings. 

As he had warned Kaworu, the small apartment was definitely far from luxurious, not that it was particularly rundown, either. The door opened into a simple living room that attached to a kitchenette, and a small hallway led out of the wall opposite the door to a bathroom and Shinji’s bedroom. The whole apartment was sparsely decorated besides a couch and TV in the living room and a small round dining table with a couple of chairs. The far wall was still crowded with a small collection of moving boxes, even though Shinji had moved in long enough ago where most reasonable people would be unpacked, he just hadn’t felt the need to.

Kaworu didn’t seem to mind the barren state of the room, though, easily following Shinji in and taking a seat on the old couch, looking almost too comfortable for someone crashing in a stranger’s house. 

“Sorry I don’t have another bed or anything, the couch shouldn’t be too bad though, right?” Shinji asked as he started down the hallway to grab one of the blankets off of his bed, walking back into the room and tossing it in Kaworu’s direction.

“This will be more than enough, thank you again, Shinji.” He said with an intense sincerity that actually took Shinji aback, still not really used to his odd mannerisms.

“Well...goodnight.”

“Goodnight!”

 

-

 

Shinji had never been happier to be going to sleep, the events of the day getting to the point of overwhelming, even if it was only the last few hours that had truly been anything of note. He quickly shed his hoodie and jeans in favor of sweatpants and an old t-shirt from his high school, grabbing his music player off of his bookshelf before throwing himself down on his bed, pulling the one remaining sheet over him. 

Even with his exhaustion, Shinji expected to still spend at least an hour laying awake in bed, listening to music until sleep finally took over and he could hopefully at least be out for a couple of hours. The sleep problems had started when he was young, but nothing had really seemed to help so far, rather than listening to music, which provided at least some help usually.

 

-

 

Surprisingly enough, though, he found himself asleep within a few minutes of lying down, waking up somewhat disoriented in the sunlight streaming into his room. It was the most he had slept in a long time, and he blearily rubbed his eyes as he sat up. 

The room was gently illuminated by the mid-morning light coming through the blinds Shinji had forgotten to close before sleeping, making it easier for him to see his surroundings. The room was pretty much as barren as the rest of his apartment, with the only furniture being his bed, a bookshelf, and a small corner desk. The bookshelf was covered with assorted books, most of which novels and astronomy textbooks, as well as some old sheet music from the short time he had played piano before he had left home. There was also a framed picture of him and his foster mother, serving as the only hint at any sort of family in the apartment.

Shinji looked at the picture as he got out of bed and sighed. He hadn’t called Misato, the woman in the picture, for almost two months now and he knew that she would chew him out for the lack of communication once he finally did. It wasn’t that he really minded talking to her, really she was the closest thing to a parent he had considering his biological father had left him with her as a toddler due to “business reasons”, but he still couldn’t muster the energy to tell her that he still hadn’t even really started the process of trying to get into college.

He shook his head, deciding he would finally call her when the whole ordeal with the (admittedly temporarily forgotten) man claiming to be an alien sleeping on his couch was cleared up. He grabbed a set of clothes for Kaworu before leaving his bedroom, figuring he could at least give him something considering he still only seemed to have the strange, torn, outfit he had met him in.

 

-

 

Shinji softly walked down the hall into his living room to find Kaworu still asleep on the couch, showing no signs of waking any time soon even in the now bright room. Shinji looked at the sleeping figure for a moment before setting the change of clothes down next to the couch and moving to the kitchen to pour some cereal for himself while he waited for the other to wake up.

This proved to not take nearly as long as he had expected, as within the next ten minutes Kaworu blinked blearily awake and slowly propped himself up, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. He blearily rubbed his eyes and tried (to no avail) to press down his hair which had managed to stick up in seemingly every direction possible while he slept.

Shinji quickly poured another bowl of cereal and brought it out to Kaworu, setting it in front of the still tired looking man, pulling a chair from the kitchen with him to take a seat across from the couch. There was an uncomfortable pause as Kaworu eyed the bowl in front of him before Shinji finally decided he would have to be the one to say something. 

“Good morning, did you sleep all right?”

Kaworu finally picked up the bowl, and taking a spoonful slowly, apparently decided he was okay with cereal and started to eat. Shinji was mostly just relieved he didn’t ask for sugar to pour onto it.

“I slept very well, thank you again for letting me stay here, you are very kind.”

“Well... I mean you really seemed to need a place I guess, you seemed pretty out of it last night, anyways, saying you were from space and all...” Shinji figured it was worth a shot to see if maybe the previous night had been an abnormality for Kaworu, but judging by the confused expression of the other, he still stood by what he had said.

“Do you not believe me?” Kaworu asked, sounding more concerned than Shinji thought he would be

“Well, it’s definitely kind of a hard thing to believe…” 

“What if I could prove it, would you believe me then?”

“I’m not sure how you would, but sure, I guess…” Shinji still wasn’t sure why exactly he was going along with this at all, but curiosity was starting to take over and it was decidedly too late to back out now.

Kaworu nodded seriously before setting down the bowl of cereal in front of him and sitting up straight on the couch. 

“Okay, please do not be afraid.” He smiled at Shinji before closing his eyes.  
Shinji watched in anticipation, although he wasn’t exactly sure what he was bracing himself for. After a few seconds of nothing happening, though, he let out a sigh of disappointment and was just about to stand back up when he was suddenly overtaken by a piercingly bright white light. He quickly threw his hands up to cover his eyes, holding them there until his eyes could finally recover from the sudden blinding.

When he finally slowly moved his now shaking hands away from his face and slowly blinked open his eyes, he was finally able to make out his surroundings in the light.

The place where Kaworu sat on the couch was now being occupied by a taller silhouette with three arching pairs of iridescent, almost insect-like wings towering over its back. The light was already starting to fade, and Shinji could tell that the intimidating figure was, in fact, Kaworu, as he sat there with the same peaceful expression as usual, though his eyes appeared to have turned entirely to white.

Shinji pressed himself as far back into the chair as possible, paralyzed in fear as he watched the light slowly fade back from the room as Kaworu returned to how he had looked before. It was almost impossible for him to process what had just happened, and he found himself staring at Kaworu for a long time as he tried to piece together that the relatively normal looking person in front of him was the same as the ethereal being that he had just seen.

When the reality of the situation finally hit him, he passed out cold on the floor, the last thing he remembered being Kaworu’s concerned face and a vague pain from falling out of the chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also also some songs i listened to on repeat while writing this if ur interested lol  
>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqk56_QGHNY  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzgVYhtwUSw


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez im sorry this chapter took so long! i lost all motivation for a bit lol I hope everyone enjoys, though!   
> also! a couple more songs ive been listening to while writing this if any one wants c:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z62R6Wsi6ek  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv3kJPT0zdc

Shinji slowly blinked awake, at first only aware of a slight headache as he squinted against the too bright light of the room. When his eyes finally adjusted, he realised that he was now lying on the couch, the blanket that he vaguely remembered giving Kaworu the night before haphazardly spread over him. As he slowly came to, he finally remembered how he had gotten like this in the first place, and suddenly felt the urge to pass out again.

_So, that actually happened._ He thought as he tried to gather himself before actually sitting up, _And my reaction was just to pass out. Now not only is there apparently an alien in my apartment, but he probably hates me for being so pathetic too._ Shinji slowly sat up, rubbing his forehead with his palm as he suddenly heard the sounds of general clamoring coming from the kitchen.

The next thing that Shinji knew, Kaworu was practically in his face with the same concerned eyes that Shinji had remembered last seeing moments before he had blacked out. 

“Shinji! You're awake!” Kaworu exclaimed a little too loudly for Shinji’s current state, but he seemed to take notice of Shinji's pained grimace and quickly quieted himself as he continued, “I’m sorry, I was just scared. I...realise now that showing you without much warning may not have been my best idea.”

Shinji gradually propped himself up as Kaworu took a step back, but still remained slightly too much in Shinji’s personal space. Shinji took a deep breath to try and find the right words for a situation like this, and wasn’t all that surprised when no clear answer came to him.

“It’s not your fault, If anything, I guess I should be the one apologizing,” He found himself laughing a little at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, but Kaworu only looked at him with a growing sense of confusion.

“So you're saying you don't hate me?” Kaworu asked, still seeming uncertain. Shinji was earnestly taken aback by the question, but quickly reasoned that if someone had reacted by passing out to anything he did, he would assume they hated him too.

“No, it’s just a lot to take in, that's all..” Shinji watched as Kaworu visibly relaxed, his usual calm smile returning to him.

“Thank you, Shinji, you truly are kind.” Kaworu smiled sincerely, and Shinji found himself having a hard time believing that the man in front of him was the same as the glowing creature he had seen before. At least now that Kaworu didn’t seem as upset, and Shinji was feeling slightly less like he had just died, he figured it was as good a time as any to try and get some information.. While he wasn't going to kick him out or anything (he really did seem like he had the best intentions, despite being mildly terrifying) Shinji still wanted to know a little bit more about the alien that he had let into his home.

The problem was that Shinji had no idea where to even start. He had a hard enough time talking to other human beings, and the task of trying to make some form of small talk with the ethereal being in front of him was definitely not going to be any easier, even with Kaworu’s kind demeanor. Shinji realised after a moment that Kaworu was staring at him through the silence expectantly, and quickly straightened himself a little and made the final decision to just say whatever and hope for the best, as he often did when he wasn’t really sure what to do.

“I…okay, I’m okay with the whole alien thing (I think) but I’d still like to at least know more about you?” Shinji hated the trepidation in his voice as he spoke, but Kaworu nodded in understanding.

“Of course, I can still understand that this is all new to you.” Kaworu said with an easy smile, settling to sit on the floor in front of Shinji, “What do you want to know first?”

“Well, for starters, where are you from?”

Kaworu answered with a series of almost click like noises that Shinji absolutely didn’t think someone with any sort of human form should be able to make, Shinji decided that at least Kaworu was probably being honest, and he shouldn't have really expected something easy to pronounce in any Earth language anyways.

“Alright, I’m guessing Kaworu isn’t your real name, then?”

“No, but I figured my real name would not be the best to introduce myself with here. The name Kaworu was given to me by an old friend.”

“Oh? Did they know something of Earth too then?” 

“Yes, she was actually in charge of research here, she left for a mission a while ago and never came back...really I was hoping to find her here somehow but I realise now that might have been a bit too optimistic.” Kaworu looked quietly at the ground, and it suddenly struck Shinji just how lost the other must be to think he might run into that single person entirely by chance.

“How much did you know of Earth before coming here, then?” 

“Apparently not as much as I thought,” Kaworu laughed, slightly bitter, “But I used to be very interested in it so I know most of your customs. I wasn’t assigned to studying Earth, though, so I don’t know as much as some.”

This knowledge was honestly one of the more concerning things to Shinji, as some alien society had not only found Earth, but had also had people dedicated to studying it and humanity’s customs. He tried not to show this, though, afraid that it would make Kaworu want to stop telling him about all of this.  
“So, what was your job then?”

“I was meant to be a soldier, but I...well...:I ran away. That is how I got here.” Kaworu said, gradually getting quieter, as if he was ashamed to admit his choice. It made sense, as the other form of Kaworu that he had seen definitely seemed like something that was prepared for fighting. Shinji was pulled out of his thoughts when Kaworu continued, still in a softer voice, “I feel like a traitor but I can’t say I regret my choice. I never would have been a good fighter, anyways.”

Shinji was about to respond when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, violently breaking the quiet between the two. 

“Dude, where the hell are you?” Touji’s voice came over the phone, and Shinji quickly pulled it away from his ear and gasped quietly when he saw the time, having not realised how much of the day he spent passed out.

“Oh God, I’m sorry Touji! I’ll be there as soon as I can!” He quickly hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket before springing up and half sprinting back to his room to get shoes.

When he got back into the living room, now with shoes and his hair frantically patted down, he turned back to Kaworu who was still sitting on the floor, seemingly in a daze.

“I’m so sorry, it’s just that I promised a friend I would do some work for him this morning and I completely forgot since I...you know...passed out.” Kaworu nodded quickly, obviously trying to keep up with Shinji’s sudden urgency. 

Shinji considered leaving Kaworu at the apartment for a moment as he stood at the door, but then decided against it, thinking that maybe getting someone else that he trusted involved might be a better idea than trying to handle it all alone. Touji was generally a skeptic when it came to this kind of thing anyways, despite being in the alien club, and Shinji figured maybe he could provide some clearer thought.

“Actually, can you come with me? You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to but...well this is kind of a lot to take in on my own..”

“I understand, Shinji, and really it isn’t a problem as long as you don’t mind.” Kaworu smiled back up at him and got up to put on the pair of (surprisingly normal looking) shoes he had left at the door the night before. With that, the two left the apartment for an extremely rushed walk to Touji’s shop in the now blazing sun.

 

-

 

As they walked briskly down the sidewalk, it occurred to Shinji that if he had really been passed out until mid-afternoon that Kaworu was stuck, probably still deeply concerned and out of place, in his apartment for that time.

“Hey, uh, What did you do during all the time I was passed out?” Shinji wasn’t really sure what he expected, but he was mostly afraid that Kaworu might’ve tried to go out alone again and gotten himself into trouble.

“Well, I put on the clothing that you left for me,” Kaworu looked down at the slightly too small t shirt and shorts he had ended up with, “Thank you very much for these, by the way.”

“No problem, but that couldn’t have taken the whole time...you didn’t do anything else?”

“No, I was concerned for you so I simply waited for you to wake up.” Kaworu answered as if doing that was the most natural reaction in the world. Shinji had no idea whether to be uncomfortable or flattered, and he ended up with a mix of both.

“Oh wow...thank you?”

“It was no problem at all.”

“Well, anyways,” Shinji began, happy to change the subject, “It’s not too far of a walk to the shop, thanks again for coming.”

Kaworu smiled again, and Shinji had to wonder how he seemed so unaffected by the heat.

“Again, It really is fine. I would like to ask you some things, though.”

Shinji was briefly taken aback by this, but figured it was a fair request considering he had been practically interrogating Kaworu from the moment he woke up.

“Sure, I’m not too sure what could possibly be interesting about me, though.”

“Don’t say that!” Kaworu said, suddenly sounding surprisingly assertive, and Shinji quickly looked up from the sidewalk to meet the other’s eyes, “You are easily the most interesting person I have ever met, and don’t forget that I am apparently almost as clueless about your world than you are about mine.”

Shinji still couldn’t get used to how easily the other seemed to say things like that, and sheepishly returned his gaze to his shoes. 

“Thank you, and I guess you do have a point...So what do you want to know?”

Kaworu hummed in thought for a moment before speaking again with his usual laid-back tone.

“Well, I really don’t know much about you besides your name, so how about anything else?”

“Well, I’m twenty years old, but I’m not in college...well not yet, anyways...uh…” He realised that he already sounded pretty boring with how he started, but Kaworu only nodded encouragingly, “Oh, I also just moved out here on my own pretty recently, so i’m still learning my way around, too.”

Shinji was surprised at how interested Kaworu still seemed with his relatively boring life, and he suddenly realised how comfortable he was just talking like this, despite everything.

“You've only really told me about serious things, though, what are you actually interested in?” Kaworu asked, and Shinji suddenly realised that he was right and struggled briefly to at least come up with some more interesting seeming things to say, but eventually just decided to tell the truth.

“Well, I used to play piano, but I stopped when I got out of high school...I want to study astronomy someday, but that’s also on hold...I guess I really am kind of pathetic without anyone encouraging me to keep up with things…”

“Well, I guess that will be my job, then.” Kaworu cut him off with contrasting cheeriness, “I have always been interested in the human concept of music, I’d love to hear you play someday.”

“If I can get it out of storage, I guess I can show you, I’m definitely out of practice, though.” Shinji laughed quietly.

“I’m sure anything played by you is beautiful, Shinji.”

Shinji felt heat rising to his face, and quickly passed it off as the walk in the sun just getting to him. He was saved from having to think of a response when they turned the corner to where the auto shop stood.

 

-

 

The shop was in the town’s more industrial area, and definitely looked the part, with a cool grey exterior only really distinguishable by the large metal garages making up the front. This was where Touji lived and worked, his small apartment and the main office taking up the second floor above the garages.

The two were just approaching one of the open garages when a large german shepard came running towards them, very nearly knocking Kaworu to the ground on impact. Kaworu looked to Shinji helplessly as the dog proceeded to sniff him and eventually lick incessantly at his hand, and Shinji couldn’t help but laugh at the obvious confusion of the other. 

Kaworu was quickly saved from the dog’s overwhelming affection, though, as a loud voice called out from behind the car raised in the garage.

“Rover! What the hell are you so excited about?!” 

The source of the voice eventually stepped out as Rover came bounding back to her, and she wiped the sweat from her forehead with one gloved hand.

The (seemingly perpetually annoyed) redheaded coworker of Touji seemed to be at the shop almost as much as he was, despite not living there. Shinji eventually came to know her as Asuka, but generally their conversations were cut short by some pointed comment on her part. Touji assured Shinji that she was like that towards everyone, but Shinji often couldn’t help but take it a little personally.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up!” She laughed as she leaned down to pet Rover, who was now affectionately sitting as close to her as he possibly could. For such a big dog, he was by far the clingiest Shinji had ever met.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late…” 

“Whatever, Toujis upstairs eating lunch,” She stopped petting Rover to examine Kaworu with obvious scrutiny, obvious that she hadn’t noticed his presence until now, “Who’s this, anyways? Did the hired nerd actually make some friends outside of alien club?” 

Kaworu looked confused at the statement, and Shinji realised that the alien club was definitely going to be one of the harder things to explain. 

“Whoa wait, is he wearing your clothes, Shinji?” Her tone turned more teasing, and Shinji suddenly realised that he wasn’t going to get out of this conversation very easily at all if they stuck around for any longer as he flushed to the point of no longer being able to just blame the heat.

“I-I have to talk to Touji! Nice seeing you!” He half stammered as he quickly pulled Kaworu along up the stairs, the latter still looking at Asuka with a blank expression.

 

-

 

Touji was in his office as expected, eating a sandwich as he scrolled through his computer absently.

“Hey, sorry I’m so late.” Shinji said, having only barely gained his composure from the previous experience.

“Nah, It’s really no problem, I saw how tired you seemed last night-” Touji started as he turned around in the spinning chair, stopping short upon noticing the unexpected other presence in the room, who was still looking at Shinji for some more explanation to the conversation with Asuka.

“Who is this? I mean...nice to meet you…” Touji said, eyeing Kaworu suspiciously as he stuck out his hand for a handshake. Shinji was starting to regret his decision of bringing Kaworu here, and hoped he could still count on Touji if he could just explain everything.

“Nice to meet you, I am Kaworu Nagisa.” Kaworu said, looking down at Touji’s hand, obviously unsure of what exactly to do. Shinji figured this was probably a good place to take over before Touji just thought Kaworu was a rude person and not a deeply confused alien.

“Can we talk for a minute please?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh jeez this took so long im sorry! finals are almost over tho so hopefully ill be able to update a little more frequently lol Thanks to everyone for sticking with me this far!

The promised short talk ended up being less of a conversation and more of Shinji semi-frantically relating the day’s events to Touji, whose expression gradually went from concerned, to amused, and eventually to vaguely annoyed. Shinji was aware of this, and as he watched Touji’s lack of belief become more apparent, his own speaking became far more frantic and inevitably less believable.

When he finally finished, Shinji took a few breaths as the room fell into an uneasy silence. Touji kept staring at Shinji for a moment, then turning to give Kaworu another onceover, watching the other as he fiddled with assorted objects on Touji’s desk in front of him. Finally, he let out a flat laugh, breaking the silence that Shinji was beginning to feel choking him.

“Shinji, I appreciate the effort, but you know it’s harder than that to fool me, right?” Touji smiled, and Shinji felt immediate defeat. It wasn’t that he really expected just that explanation to work, as it definitely hadn’t on him at first either, but it sure was a lot easier than making Touji learn the hard way. Shuddering a little at the thought, Shinji resolved to make a final effort to try to convince him without resorting to scaring him.

“Look at me Touji. Please believe me.” He tried his best to sound sure of himself, but his voice still came out too soft, and even with Kaworu nodding at Touji beside him, the other didn’t reach the magical revelation that Shinji had been desperately hoping for. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows drawing together as he frowned.

“Okay, this is starting to get fuckin’ weird. Are you alright? You didn’t like hit your head or anything?” Touji asked, the humor now fully drained from his voice. Shinji almost laughed as he realised he wasn’t too sure of his own sanity at this point, but decided now was likely not the best time to bring that up.

“Shinji, can I…?” Kaworu broke the silence yet again, finally putting down the stapler that he had been fiddling with for the entirety of the past conversation. Shinji looked from Kaworu to Touji, drew a breath, and finally resigned that this really was probably the only way. He sighed in defeat.

“Sure, but...is there any way you can dull it down a little from earlier?”

“Yes, I think I can do something a little less...intense...I’ve been meaning to try this anyways.” 

Kaworu smiled reassuringly as he gingerly plucked one of Touji’s dying potted plants off of the desk, holding it in his hands and focusing for a moment.

The whole room was staring at him, and there was no result for just long enough that Touji seemed about ready to actually get upset, when suddenly the same almost blinding light as before filled the room.

Shinji blinked, though a little less startled this time, and looked up to see Kaworu looking surprisingly less horrifying than he remembered. In fact, he looked almost like normal, at least until Shinji’s looked enough to see that the others eyes had gone to the same empty whites that he had remembered from before, his smile also appearing a little less calm and beginning to border on unsettling, widening to seem just a little too wide for a human face. There was also still the faint impression of Kaworu’s wings behind him, though the fact that they were little more than strange blurs of light showed that the other was at least making an effort to constrain himself.

More importantly, though, was the pot in Kaworu’s hands. The wilted plant had begun to glow with the same white light as him, looking as if it was slowly moving.

After a moment of this, the light flashed off as suddenly as it had started, everything returning to normal except for the plant, which now stood tall and blooming, a faint glow still leaking from the leaves. 

“Was that okay?” Kaworu asked after a moment, turning to Shinji and holding out the small pot to him. Rather than answering, Shinji delicately reached out and touched one of the leaves, feeling a small shock go into his finger before the plant lost it’s faint aura.

“Yeah, uh, that was fine, but why didn’t you tell me you could do...whatever that was?” Shinji asked, cautiously setting the pot onto the desk where Touji slowly examined it as Shinji had, obviously still at a loss for words.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if I could do it here or not, and honestly, I didn’t want to scare you more than it seems i already have.” Kaworu explained, as Shinji nodded slowly.

“So, now that you know you can do...that…” Shinji once again glanced at the plant, “What exactly is it?”

“Well, I figured that since I can control my own energy, maybe I could with other living things too. It worked before, but I wasn’t sure it would work the same here.” Kaworu explained, as if the ability to transfer energy from being to being at will was the most natural thing in the world. Which, Shinji supposed, probably made sense considering it was natural to him.

“Hey, so what the fuck.”

Shinji and Kaworu are both interrupted by Touji, who seemed to have finally given up on looking at the plant for answers and was attempting to turn to some other sources.

“Ah, yeah...sorry?” Shinji wasn’t quite sure what he was exactly apologizing for, but still felt it was needed for This Kind Of Thing, whatever This Kind Of Thing was exactly.

“Okay. Yeah. Whatever,” Touji breathed, dropping his head into his palms, “So you have an alien living with you, I guess, That’s fine, but why the fuck are you bringing me into this?”

Shinji noted that Kaworu actually looked a little offended at this statement, but didn’t push it, as really he could see where Touji was coming from.

“I’m sorry...I really did need someone else to confirm all of this though, and you seemed a good, level headed person to go to?” Shinji had to pause for a moment to question how his life had led him to the point where Touji is the most level headed person he knew, but he decided to quickly move on from that thought. 

“Yeah, alright I guess I can understand…” Touji said, starting to at least somewhat come to terms with everything, “We should probably tell Kensuke too, though, although you may be right that it’ll be easier if we’re both there to calm him down.”

Kaworu shot Shinji a confused look, and with it came the realization that Shinji really was going to have to tell him he was in an alien hunting club. He grimaced at the thought.

Touji watched this with something similar to amusement before continuing, “I’ll see if he can do a…club meeting….tonight. For now, you should just go home, the papers can wait a while, and you...definitely have your hands full already it looks like.”

Shinji quickly thanked him and rose from his chair, Kaworu following quickly as to avoid even more thinly veiled scrutiny from Touji, who simply sighed and turned back around to his computer.

-

They made it the rest of the way out of the shop with little fanfare, much to Shinji’s relief, as Asuka pointedly paid them no mind as she worked on the car in front of her, Rover fast asleep now that Shinji and Kaworu apparently no longer posed a threat to the shepherd. 

The two made their way down the sidewalk in vaguely the direction that had come from with no real destination, both seemingly just wanting to put the past uncomfortable conversation behind them. 

After a few minutes, Kaworu broke the quiet in a soft voice.

“Your friend didn’t seem to like me very much, I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” He asked, surprisingly bashful sounding.

“Nah, Touji’s always like that. Actually, he was a lot nicer to you than he was to me when we first met…” Shinji still could remember what Touji’s fist felt like after a few initial confrontations, and was once again happy that Touji had eventually decided he was alright.

Kaworu nodded, and at least seemed appeased, his smile returning as he looked up and out in the direction that had apparently decided to go.

“Well, that's a relief. Where are we heading now?”

“I’m not sure myself..” Shinji admitted, pausing for a moment to desperately think of anything interesting in the small town, “we have some time to waste before tonight, though...maybe we can go to the park nearby? It’s not much but it’s something I guess…”

“That sounds great!” Kaworu hummed as Shinji wondered how he could sound so excited about something so boring, “May I ask where we’re going tonight, though?”

This was the question Shinji had been dreading. He figured it would be a better idea to tell Kaworu now than to make him be fully confronted with the idea of an alien research club by Kensuke, though, and took a deep breath.

“Okay, so you know how you said some people on your planet are interested on humans?” Kaworu nodded, and Shinji sent out one final silent prayer that he would take this well, “Well, there’s groups like that here, too...and i’m part of one…”

Shinji looked down as Kaworu was quiet for a moment, the cement on the ground suddenly far more interesting than he ever could've expected. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was suddenly so desperate for Kaworu, a literal alien being, to accept him, but having no reasonable explanation does very little to ease fear.

It took him a moment to realise Kaworu had stopped walking beside him, and Shinji braced himself for the worst for a second before turning around to face the other.

Instead of any scorn, though, Kaworu looked like the sun. He quickly grabbed Shinji’s hands and held them up between them with a look of sheer happiness that Shinji was unsure he had ever felt in his lifetime.

“Shinji! That’s amazing! It must be fate that we met like this, then, considering we really have been looking for each other!” 

Shinji felt his fear get replaced by a flaring embarrassment, though the feeling was lighter and generally accepted at least in comparison. This absolutely wasn’t the reaction he had expected, but he welcomed it as long as it was positive.

He was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that Kaworu’s hands were still firmly holding his between them, and quickly broke free, noting how much his hands had already been sweating and wondering if Kaworu had noticed.

“Well, at least you're not freaked out by it,” Shinji started as he turned away, still trying to act casual, “Are you still okay with coming tonight, though? My friend will probably really want to meet you…” Shinji suddenly realised that, technically, given the pictures Kensuke had taken, they had already met once before. “Actually, he’s the one that took the pictures I showed you in the diner last night.”

Kaworu followed, still beaming in a way that made it so Shinji couldn’t look directly at him.

“I’d be happy to meet any of your friends.”  
“You really do trust people quickly, don't you?”  
“No, I just trust you.”

Shinji wondered if he was ever going to stop getting surprised when Kaworu could just suddenly say things like that, and stumbled over himself a little trying to think of a response. Luckily for him, though, the unceremonious park entrance was just ahead, the perfect opportunity to change the subject.

“Here-” Shinji coughed as he realised how strained his voice was, “Here’s the park, again I’m sorry it really isn’t much.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, it seems nice.”

The “park” in question could actually barely be called that, as it was really just a large patch of grass with a few trees. The only thing that set it apart from any other patch of suburban grass was a small fountain that stood in the center of a few benches, though it looked like it hadn’t had water in it for years. At the very least it was a quiet place to rest, as no one else could be seen, and Shinji quietly led Kaworu to one of the benches, luckily one with some shade from a tree to protect from the hot summer heat.

Kaworu sat down comfortably, a stark contrast to Shinji, who looked and felt like every muscle in his body was tensed. He leaned back and closed his eyes, the sunlight through the leaves casting strange patterns of shadows on his face as he breathed slowly, almost appearing asleep.

_He looks so...human,_ Shinji thought, still staring at the other, _it really is hard to believe that he isn’t, sometimes._ Shinji eventually turned away and settled into the bench himself, finally leaning a little into Kaworu’s side. He wasn’t exactly sure why he did it, maybe a desperate hope that the other’s calmness would somehow run off on him, and while that definitely didn’t happen, he did find himself more okay with the proximity than he normally would be.  
Shinji had actually nearly fallen asleep when he was startled by the loud buzzing of his phone in his pocket, nearly jumping off the bench. A quick look at the screen showed that the caller was Misato, and Shinji realised that he had no reason not to accept this time.

“Sorry, i’ll be right back.” He quickly apologized to Kaworu, who had also been stirred from his jumping off the bench, and walked a little ways away into the grass to answer the call.

“Oh my god you actually answered!” The guilt started early, and Shinji visibly grimaced. Luckily, the other’s tone still seemed light enough, “You know that just because you moved out doesn't mean you get to completely ignore me, right?”

“Sorry, I’ve been really busy…” Shinji realised that for once, at least as of the past day, this wasn’t a complete lie. He mentally patted himself on the back a little for that.

“God tell me about it! Your father has been working me to the bone recently with all of-! Actually...I probably shouldn’t tell you about that, at least over a private phone…” She complained, and Shinji would've been happier about her changing the subject if it wasn’t about his father.

He really didn’t know what his father did, rather than that it was A) important, and B) extremely secret. The most information he got about his father at all were the bits of complaint from Misato, who had practically adopted him despite being a coworker of his father.

Seeming to sense Shinji dwelling on his father, even over the phone, Misato quickly continued.

“So! You said you were busy? Does this mean you've made some friends out there?”

“Well...kind of...I actually have a friend staying with me as of right now.” It’s a massive oversimplification, but Shinji decided that it was okay given the situations unbelievability. 

“Oh wow! I told you you’d be able to get along there!” 

“Yeah, I guess...thank you.” Even if Misato wasn’t quite the model for an adult figure, Shinji knew that she did still worry about him, and it was a comforting thought for someone essentially orphaned.

“Oh shit, he’s calling again! I’m so sorry Shinji but I have to go…” Misato said in the same rushed tone that she had answered the phone with, and the added as a quiet afterthought, “Right when I finally got you on the phone, too.”

“It’s okay, good luck with work.”

“Thanks! Good luck with your friend.” Shinji had the strongest feeling that she may have winked as she said it, but she had already hung up before he could say anything.

-

As Shinji turned back towards the bench, he found Kaworu sitting in the same place as before, but now seemingly in a staring contest with a rather large crow perched on the fountain a few feet in front of him. _If only Misato knew…_ He found himself thinking as he watched the spectacle, This really is out of my usual depth.

It wasn’t a bitter feeling, though, as Shinji sat back down as slowly as possible (trying but failing to not scare the crow away.) 

“Sorry, I really needed to talk to her.”

“Don’t worry about it, I could tell it was important.” Kaworu said with an easy smile, and Shinji found himself quietly wondering what Misato would think of him if she were to actually meet him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeez sorry this took so long...i tried something a little different with writing this chapter that i was really looking forward to, though! hope you like it!

Shinji and Kaworu had just finally made the decision to go back to Shinji’s apartment when Shinji got a scrambled text from Kensuke. Judging by the staggering amount of typos, Shinji could only assume that Touji had already mentioned at least some things about Kaworu to him, and braced himself silently for the full force of the other’s excitement. 

The two made their way to Kensuke’s house relatively easily, the setting sun allowing for a much more pleasant walk than the earlier blistering afternoon. When they got to his door, Shinji mumbled an apology to Kaworu in advance, knowing what was to come. Sure enough, the second he opened the unlocked door, Kensuke was standing there with his eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

Shinji opened his mouth to say “hello,” but was already being grabbed by the shirt and dragged down the stairs by Kensuke. He stumbled to break free once they reached the bottom of the stairs, nearly bumping into Kaworu, who Kensuke still hadn’t let go of.

The room looked just as it had before, though it was obvious that Kensuke had been waiting rather impatiently due to the large corkboard of papers looking as if everything had been quickly shuffled and rearranged. Touji laid across the couch in the far corner, slowly rising to acknowledge the commotion and holding his forehead against the sudden noise.

Kensuke, meanwhile, still kept a solid grip on Kaworu’s arm as Kaworu stared at him with a mixture of bemusement and mild concern.

“So you’re him?! You’re the alien?!” He yelled, bouncing on the balls of his feet, “I have SO much I need to ask you! God, I still can’t believe it!”

Shinji watched the whole interaction frozen in place with embarrassment. He _had_ warned Kaworu that Kensuke might be like this, but he was still proving himself to have absolutely no tact.

Luckily, it seemed Touji had also noticed and was actually capable of stepping in.

“Hey, you fucking geek, you’re asking him so many questions he can’t even talk,” he sad as he pulled Kensuke back a little, pointing him in the direction of the table in the corner, “let’s all take a seat.”

The intervention, luckily enough, broke through the havoc, and soon everyone found themselves gathered rather uncomfortably around the small table. After a moment, Kensuke pushed up his glasses and spoke, addressing Kaworu with his hands folded in front of him on the table.

“So, you claim that you are an alien?”

Shinji rolled his eyes at how Kensuke was suddenly playing the skeptic, but chose not to say anything. Instead, he opened his mouth to offer Kensuke the same explanation he had given Touji earlier in the day, only to be cut off by Touji himself.

“Just trust me, this guy definitely isn’t a human being.” He said calmly, still not fully okay with Kaworu’s origins, but at least having reached a complete level of acceptance.

Now that he had any reason to lose his skeptic act, Kensuke launched back into his stream of questions, but he had calmed down enough to actually let Kaworu answer, which he was doing rather cooperatively. Shinji reminded himself to thank Kaworu for putting up with all of this later, as he really was being a better sport about it than most people would be capable of.

Eventually, the conversation comes to involve Kensuke’s photos from before.

“So, were both of the pictures I took of you?” he asked, motioning for Shinji to get them out and then quickly grabbing them from him.

“No? I’m here for the first time.”

This confession took a moment to sink in, before Kensuke's eyes suddenly shot open wide.

“That means....two….two aliens! Do you know of anyone else who might’ve been here?!”

“Well, there have been a few missions here before me, though most of them have probably returned by now...I haven't been in communication, if I’m honest.”

Kensuke nodded solemnly, but quickly regained his excitement as he continued.

“Well, I think we can all agree that you should stay with me here, so we can continue to find out as much as possible. Anyways, I do have the largest house.”

“No.” Shinji spoke before he even thought about what he was going to say, and suddenly had to resist the urge to clap a hand over his mouth as the others all suddenly turned on him. “I mean, since he’s already been at my apartment, I think it might be better he stays with me...if you want, of course.” He directed the end of his sentence at Kaworu, who nodded slowly.

Really, Shinji wasn’t entirely sure that was the only reason. He knew that Kensuke was going to treat Kaworu as more of a subject than a living being, and while it was tolerable to watch for a shorter amount of time, the thought of it being constant made him angrier than he thought he would be. 

Luckily enough, Kensuke didn’t seem to be in the mood to argue. Instead he just sighed and rose from the table.

“Well, I guess part of me thought this would happen. Let me go get the backup plan,” he announced before heading up the stairs.

The remaining three let out a collective sigh of relief, as even if Kensuke was a friend, he was filling the room with an extreme atmosphere that immediately dispelled in his absence. After a short moment, Touji rose and shuffled through a small mess next to the couch, eventually pulling out a plastic grocery bag.

“I forgot to mention earlier, but especially if you are going to be living together, this might be useful.” He said, returning back to the table and handing it to Kaworu. Inside were some older looking clothes, obviously worn but still in decent condition. 

Kaworu stared at the bag’s contents for a moment before grinning back up at Touji, causing the latter to lean back a little.

“Thank you, I will make sure to use these.” 

“Uh, yeah man, don’t worry about it. I just realised that you probably wouldn’t have much to wear considering that Shinji literally only seems to own that one hoodie…” Touji scratched at the back of his neck as he spoke, still not really enjoying the fact that he had chosen to help Kaworu at all.

Shinji watched the whole interaction from a distance, feeling like he should also be thanking Touji (as well as possibly letting him know that he DOES have other shirts, thank you, he just happens to like this one because it’s comfortable.) Before he got a chance to uncomfortably insert himself, though, Kensuke came thundering back down the stairs.

“OK!” He yelled, slamming his old camera down on the table, “If you’re so sure he can’t stay with me, Shinji, then i’m going to need you to record everything that happens!”

Kensuke spoke as if what he said was obvious, but Shinji had finally had enough of him speaking of Kaworu as a science project rather than a sentient being in the same room as them.   
“Evidence of what, Kensuke? You of all people should know that we can’t let the government find out about him…” 

“No, we get evidence and show the government so they finally tell us something!”

 

“And what makes you think that they won’t just come and take him to experiment on him themselves?” Shinji’s voice trailed as he spoke, immediately regretting raising his voice as the reality of confrontation made itself apparent.

Shinji looked in Kaworu’s direction for any help in the argument, only to find that Kaworu was rising up to take the camera off the table.

“Thank you for the concern, but I think it’ll be fine if filming is all you want.”

Shinji opened his mouth to protest, but Kaworu cut him off, smiling.

“Really, I don’t mind.”

Kensuke watched happily and then sat back down, now obviously eager to wrap things up before Shinji got the chance to argue again.

“Well that settles it! We’ll meet back in a week! Thanks!”

 

VIDEO 1

“Okay...Okay I think I got it to work.”

Shinji’s voice came through the darkness of the first recording before the screen suddenly brightened and provided a shaky view of his apartment kitchen. Even as the camera steadied out on a view of Kaworu, sitting across the table, the edges of the screen crackled with a concerning static.

“Oh, that’s weird...I think the camera might be broken?” Shinji spoke as he shifted the view, the static suddenly clearing the second Kaworu was out of the shot.

“Wait...Oh my God, I think it’s only when you’re in the shot?” 

The second the angle shifted back to showing Kaworu, the static began again, the view shaking a bit as Shinji flinched.

“Do you know why you might mess up the camera?”

“I’m sorry, I honestly have no clue.” Kaworu’s voice came out in a lower quality than the rest of the video as well, but even with the static blurring his prominent features he could still be seen shrugging slightly.

“Well, Kensuke will find it interesting at least.” Shinji laughed, shutting the video off.

 

VIDEO 2

The screen blinked back after a second to show Kaworu sitting cross-legged on Shinji’s couch The static was still present, but the video was mostly watchable. After a second, Kaworu looked up and spoke.

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, you’re okay with doing this too, right?” Shinji’s voice came quietly from behind the lens.

“Don’t worry about me, it was my idea,” Kaworu smiled, “Should I start?”

“Whenever you’re ready, sure.”

A couple seconds after Shinji had given the OK, Kaworu began to emit the light that Shinji had come to get almost used to.

As his glowing figure started to grow and transform from his place on the couch, the camera’s recording quality got worse and worse, the audio coming through in broken snips and the static growing to the point where all that could be seen was Kaworu’s nearly unrecognizable outline. He eventually raised to about the height that Shinji had remembered before, and just as his pairs of wings extended from his back, the video fully cut to black.

After a few minutes, the video suddenly snaps back to life, once again showing Kaworu sitting in his human form on the couch as he had been before, the only changes being that his hair looked slightly more of a mess than usual and a lingering light remaining around him.

“Are you okay?” Kaworu spoke softly, the light around him slowly starting to fade.

“Y-Yeah, I didn’t pass out that time, so I was good. The camera didn’t manage to catch anything at all, though.”

“Wait, really? Can I see?” Kaworu laughed as he spoke, a sound surprisingly gentle to be coming from a recently transformed ethereal being.

“Yeah, let me rewind. You know, it was nice actually being able to watch this time...your transformation is...really beautiful? I hope that isn’t weird to say, I’m sorry-”

 

VIDEO 3

“Okay, well this is definitely weird.” Shinji said, the view showing the same living room as before, now dimly lit by sunset through the patio window. Kaworu sat where he had before on the couch, only now with an electronic keyboard laying on the coffee table in front of him.

“So, I got out my old keyboard about an hour ago, and...well, just watch. Do you mind playing again?”

Kaworu nodded, closing his eyes as he hovered his fingers over the keys. He then began to play a fast but graceful melody, his fingers seeming to find the right keys on their own. Throughout the whole song, Kaworu kept his eyes closed, only moving to keep time with the music and tilting his head back occasionally.

The song eventually came to a close, marked by Kaworu opening his eyes and turning back to face the camera.

“Was that okay?” He asked, seemingly unaware that he had done anything impressive.

“More than that...are you really sure you’ve never played piano before?” Shinji asked, his voice audibly shakey.

“No. It’s very fun, though. Wait why do you look so concerned? Did I do something wrong?” Kaworu rose from where he was sitting, concern painting his features.

“No! No, you’re fine, you’re just amazingly good at that…”

 

VIDEO 4

This time, the video is no longer in Shinji’s apartment, but rather a small wooden table in a typical cafe. Kaworu sat across the small table, sunlight streaming through the open window next to him and cutting through the static somewhat. Before Shinji got a chance to say anything, a couple of coffee cups are placed in front of the two on the table.

“Ah, thank you.” Shinji said, presumably to the waitress, reaching for the packets of sugar to mix in with his free hand. “It’s a little weird to record here, I guess…”

Kaworu was staring at his coffee, apparently too intently to hear what Shinji had said. He took a moment before finally picking the cup up and taking a drink, immediately recoiling slightly at the bitter taste.

“Hey, you might want to put some sugar in it?” Shinji pushed the sugar container a little closer to Kaworu as he spoke, “I’m guessing you don’t like the bitterness much.”

“Oh, thank you.” Kaworu took a packet of sugar and carefully poured it into his drink, “It’s just that the last time I put this in my drink it was very sweet.”

Shinji couldn’t help but laugh at Kaworu’s puzzled expression, and he quickly tried to bite back his laughter as Kaworu looked up at him, even more confused than before.

“No, no I’m sorry for laughing. It’s just, some drinks really don’t need sugar, and you were drinking soda...which is already extremely sweet.” Shinji couldn’t get the amusement out of his voice, and finally had to cough before continuing, “Coffee, though, could definitely use some.”

Kaworu took a sip, now obviously much less repulsed by the drink, and then smiled up at Shinji with a look that seemed almost too fond for the middle of a cafe. 

“Thank you, it seems there really is still much I have to learn.”

“No, don’t worry, I realise it would be a little confusing if you didn’t already know. Hopefully you like it now, though.” Shinji reached for his own cup, shutting off the camera.

 

VIDEO 5

Shinji’s living room is just barely visible with the light of the small television in front of the couch and the very faint twilight leaking into the room. With this light, the couch Shinji was filming from was covered in a layer of a few blankets, one of which was mostly covering Kaworu who sat at the other end of the small couch. His skin being mostly covered seemed to do a little to help the static, though the video definitely still wasn’t the quality it probably should’ve been.

“You’ve seen some movies before, right?” Shinji asked, his voice low in the quietness of the room.

“Yeah, sometimes those who went to Earth would bring them back...I’ve only seen a few, though.” Kaworu pulled the blanket even further up around him as he spoke, apparently quite comfortable.

“Well, we have Netflix, so we could start with pretty much anything...how about a horror movie since it’s not too dark yet?”

-

“Well, that was a horror movie, not a very good horror movie, but a horror movie nonetheless.” Shinji’s voice sounded considerably more tired, and now the room had reached a true darkness with twilight long past.

“I’m not sure I understand the appeal...Why would you watch a movie knowing that it was going to make you upset?” 

“Good point...I guess if every movie was happy, it would be pretty boring, though?” Shinji rose from the couch as he spoke, leaving the camera aimed at the tv, “You can pick the next one, I’ll go make us some snacks.”

-

“So you chose...a Disney movie?” Shinji sat back down, adjusting the camera as he set a bowl of popcorn on the couch between the two of them.

“Is that okay? I liked how it looked…” Kaworu said quietly, already reaching for the remote to pick something else.

“No, it’s fine! I just haven’t seen one of these in what feels like forever. I think you’ll like it, though.”

-

“Are all of your movies this...emotional?” Kaworu whispered as the movies ending credits rolled, upbeat music filling the room.

“I think we’re just having that kind of luck, sorry.” Shinji laughed softly, “Did you like it, at least?”

“Oh it was a great movie! Just...sad, in a way. Say, Shinji, do you think a destined love like that could really happen?” Kaworu suddenly looked very serious, the camera flickering as his red eyes focused on Shinji behind it.

“I-I guess so...I mean at this point I guess I could believe in anything...you know, considering...” Shinji had the camera pointed at the floor, it seemingly forgotten in his hand.

“Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, don’t worry about it, do you want to just watch an action movie now?”

-

“Oh, I think I found it.” Kaworu’s voice came from behind the camera as it blinked to life, showing Shinji, now asleep on the couch where he had been sitting before. The blanket that had previously been on Kaworu was draped over him. The light of the sun just barely rising could be seen, and the screen of the TV had once again returned to the dim selection menu.

“It looks like that will be the end of that for tonight…” Kaworu whispered, obviously trying not to wake the other as he turned the camera back off.

 

VIDEO 6

The view switched to show the small balcony of Shinji’s apartment, the sun low in the sky beyond the railing. Shinji sat in front of a somewhat rickety looking outdoor table, with a couple of sandwiches serving as a late lunch resting on it. Kaworu sat in a lawn chair near him, leaning back a little to offer a crow sitting on the railing a small piece of bread.

“It’s a little strange how the birds seem to like you so much, the usually don’t come up here this often.” Shinji said, carefully filming the interaction between the two in front of him.

“I think they can tell that I’m also not human...that's just a guess, though.” Kaworu smiled back at Shinji for a second before returning his attention to the large bird as it pecked at his hand for more.

“I guess you do emit some sort of different energy than most people. Is that how you do the uh…” Shinji gestured with his hands, effectively shaking the camera, “plant thing you can do?”

“Hm...probably. I feel like it’s more that I have more of an ability to control my own life force, in or outside of myself. At least, more than humans seem to be able to on average.”

“You know, at this point you could tell me just about anything and I would probably believe you.”

Kaworu laughed at this, the crow that had come to rest on his arm startling and flying back to the balcony wall.

“I guess I’m lucky I’ve found someone so trusting, then.”

“Don’t give me credit for that, I think I might just be a little naive. Anyways, we should probably start heading back to Kensuke’s, is there anything else you want me to record?”

Kaworu shook his head, and as he bid farewell to his newfound friend, the last video cut off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well...yet again i have to apologize for how long this has taken me lol...thank you all for sticking with me if youre still around, though!!! all of your comments really have meant a lot ^^ also...i would like to say that the next chapter is likely going to be the last, possibly followed by an epilogue!

The warm summer seemed to settle on the cramped balcony like a comfortable but smothering blanket as Shinji set the camera down in front of him with a soft thump. Filming Kaworu throughout the week had been uncomfortable, but he oddly thought he was going to miss it a little. It really hadn’t been as difficult as he expected (especially with Kaworu being such a willing subject) and Shinji liked to think Kaworu had fun with it at least. In any case, he had found himself happy to be spending time with Kaworu more than he ever had with another person, but he decided he really shouldn’t think too deeply into it, for his own sake. It was probably just due to how it was fun to watch Kaworu be fascinated by usually boring things, and it would be weird if he was actually attracted to an alien...right?

He shook himself out of his own thoughts, quickly taking the last few bites of his sandwich before rising. Kaworu was still invested in feeding the last of his sandwich to the crows, and Shinji watched as a large bird ate the final piece before leaning over and gently tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey, you about ready to get going?”

“Ah, sorry. I lost track of time.” Kaworu rose, the bird taking flight once it had decided there was no more food to be offered.

“Don’t worry about it, we’re not even late or anything, I just don’t want to have to deal with Kensuke chewing us out.” 

“Yes...that sounds like something I would rather avoid.”

 

-

 

Shinji didn’t even bother knocking on the door this time, opting instead to look for a key under Kensuke’s doormat and, upon finding one, letting himself and Kaworu in.

If Kensuke found it odd that the two had shown up relatively unprompted in his basement, he didn’t show it, getting up from the couch to greet them.

“Hey. you remembered the camera, right?” He still seemed more on edge than usual (understandably so, Shinji figured) but he had at least calmed down since the week prior. Shinji handed over the camera in way of a response, and Kensuke practically grabbed it back out of his hands.

“Okay, we have to wait for Rei to get here, though. Turns out she’s actually coming this time since I told her we had some more...interesting news.” Kensuke pushed up his glasses as he smiled smugly at Kaworu before turning back away to set down his precious camera and seat himself back onto the couch with Touji.

This news actually surprised Shinji, as he really hadn’t counted on Rei ever showing up to a meeting again due to her pretty obvious disinterest. He supposed that the promise of them actually making progress would be enough to get even someone like her to be curious, though. She was never particularly rude, but ever since she joined the club Shinji could only recall her speaking in clipped sentences and generally just staring at a wall as they all spoke.

Shinji broke from his thoughts as he realised Kaworu had also gone over to the couch, and followed suit to see what had everyone’s attention.

He was expecting something pertaining to new and vaguely horrifying discoveries about aliens, but was honestly relieved when he approached closer and only heard the sounds of the fighting game Touji was playing. Kaworu seemed entranced in watching as Kensuke grabbed a controller and joined the match, seeming to analyze every action Kensuke took with his character. Once Kensuke inevitably lost, Kaworu reached calmly over the couch and took the controller from him before he could protest, holding it lightly as he arranged his fingers on the buttons.

“Hey, are you sure you know how to play?” Touji asked, amused.

“I think I do, at least from watching you two play it doesn’t seem that difficult.”

This earned an annoyed scoff from Kensuke, which was ignored as Touji opted to start the game. Shinji watched Kaworu work the controller next to him, starting off with a deadly calm stare at the screen, holding a focus that seemed he was unlocking the secrets to the universe in the pixels in front of him. 

He was losing horribly. Touji showed no mercy against the newcomer, and almost as soon as the game had begun, the victory screen was displayed.

The small crowd all gradually turned to stare at Kaworu, who was still holding a calm smile, eyes trained forward. Eventually, he handed the controller back to Kensuke, still with no sign of expression.

“I don’t think this is for me.” He finally admitted. Kensuke bit back a smug laugh.

Rei was apparently running much later than expected, and the whole meeting ended up becoming more of an event to watch Touji make everyone else feel bad about their video game abilities. It was strange, Shinji thought, that a group like this could act so normal. He was able to forget that the person standing next to him (definitely NOT sulking about his loss) was a powerful otherworldly being, as weird as that was to say. 

 

-

 

The sense of calm was eventually broken by a single, loud knock on the door. Kensuke quickly dropped off the controller and ran up the basement stairs to fetch who was presumably Rei as the others all slowly made their way back to the main table as if a trance had just been broken.

Kensuke quickly returned down the stairs, Rei following him like a silent shadow. She was just the same as Shinji had remembered last seeing her, with short cropped blue hair and a deadly neutral expression that never seemed to convey any feeling in particular. Now that he thought of it, she actually reminded him a little of Kaworu in that regard, as they both had a very distinct way of carrying themselves. She walked down the stairs with her eyes trained slightly down, finally stopping at the bottom and looking up at those around her. Shinji raised his hand in greeting, but quickly realised he was being ignored as Rei’s eyes locked onto something else. Her posture had gone completely rigid, and she lost her usual bored look as her eyes widened slightly in surprise.

As he followed her line of sight, he realised she was, in fact, staring at Kaworu, who happened to be acting just as odd. He looked at Rei for a moment, squinting slightly before finally breaking into a smile and walking up to her.

“It’s you!” He grinned at her, now facing her directly with his hands in his pockets.

“...Yes.” Rei returned with absolutely none of Kaworu’s enthusiasm.

“Don’t you recognize me?”

 

“Of course I do. That’s the problem.”

The rest of the room watched in silent confusion as Kaworu’s smile finally dropped. There seemed to be a shared agreement between everyone present that wasn’t Kaworu and Rei that something was going on that none of them quite understood, and no one really wanted to get involved just yet.

“Is something wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me.” Kaworu put his hands in his pockets, slowly backing away from Rei with an air of caution now.

“You shouldn’t….” Rei trailed off, taking a second to gather herself before returning to her usual flat tone, “You and I both know you shouldn’t be here.”

“I always talked about how I was going to make it to Earth someday, though! We even ended up knowing the same people!” 

Rei pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, finally fully losing her composure at Kaworu’s stubbornness.   
“I would be happy for you, I really would, but having you here is dangerous. It was bad enough that I have been here for as long as I have.”

Shinji, who had been watching the conversation silently as he wondered if he was the only one who had no idea what was going on, thought he might be finally getting the gist of it. Really, that didn’t make him any less confused, though. There was only one way Rei could have known Kaworu before, but he definitely did not like the implications. 

Kensuke had apparently been having a similar train of thought.

“Hey wait just a minute!” Kensuke nearly jumped forwards, “Are you trying to tell me you’ve also been an alien all along?! And from the same planet even?!” 

The two turned to him, both seeming to just now remember that there were, in fact, other people still in the room. It took Rei a second before she turned back to Kaworu, her eyes dark.

“How much did you tell them?” 

“I didn’t see the harm. You know them too, Rei, do you really think any of them would hurt us?” Kaworu spoke in a flat tone almost matching Rei’s, his eyes taking the same coldness as well.

“I knew people only to make sure they never got too close to finding out. I was an observer, you are attached.” She suddenly looked pointedly at Shinji, who took a step back, “There is a difference. Anyways, can we please continue this outside?”

“No, This involves all of us now!” Kensuke yelled, turning back for any support from Touji or Shinji and finding them both still watching from a respectable distance.

Shinji, at least, wasn’t sure he agreed with Kensuke. Really, his wasn’t his business, and while he was grateful that Kaworu had trusted him this much, never should’ve been. Somehow it seemed that Kensuke (as well as a cold stare from Kaworu) was enough to convince Rei to stay, though, and she slowly turned back to face the room.

“Fine. You are probably too curious to let this go...What do you all already know?”

“Only that Kaworu is an alien,” Kensuke had chosen to speak for the group, which no one protested, “also that he has some powers, as well as that he caused that streak in the sky...wait a minute...I saw something similar before too, could that have been?” Kensuke’s eyes were wide.

“Yes, That was likely me. Most people who aren’t as...devoted...would dismiss it as a star.”  
“So you just...you knew how intent we all were on finding this out, and you just sat back and watched?” Kensuke’s surprise was wearing into a cool anger as he started to get over the initial surprise yet again.

“No. My intention was never cruel, I was simply here because you posed the greatest threat to me being found out...at least that is what I thought at the time.” She shot another pointed look at Kaworu, which he simply ignored.

“Still, did it never once cross your mind that you were essentially mocking me?!”

“Please try to understand.” Rei took a step forward, she was making unwavering eye contact with Kensuke now, who despite his anger was able to take the sign to shut up for a second. “You are only curious, my life is on the line. You do not know what your government would do to me...or him now.” 

Kensuke opened his mouth and closed it again, at a loss for a rebuttal. He clearly still didn’t want to admit he was wrong, but may be reconsidering his anger.

“Fine, okay.” he grumbled, pushing up his glasses, “What do we do now, then?”

“We aren’t safe here anymore, and if you insist on being involved, I would hope you would be willing to help us back.” Rei was talking to everyone, now.

Shinji immediately went rigid as he realised what Rei was saying, and as he looked to Kaworu to see his reaction he found his own tenseness reflected back at him. The two made eye contact for a moment, and something unspoken manifested between them. Shinji knew that this was too soon to say goodbye. There was something he hadn’t done yet, he didn’t know what that was exactly, but the feeling of incompleteness was present enough to finally drive him to speak.

“Do you know for sure if you’re in danger?” The words felt too loud in the room, and everyone turned to him, surprised that he had spoken. “I understand that this could be bad, but-”

Shinji was cut off by a loud and continuous knocking on the front door above, accompanied by some muffled yelling. Touji took the opportunity to leave the room for a moment and silently walked back up the stairs to answer it before anyone could stop him.

There was a shared moment of uncomfortable silence before Asuka’s very loud presence broke it as she stormed down the stairs. Touji trailed her a few feet behind, somehow looking more upset at the situation than he ever had.

“So!” She stood in the middle of the group, standing in a manner to ensure not a single person was ignoring her, “Would any one of you idiots care to explain why the FBI were just at the shop asking about suspicious activity?”

No one answered as the group took in the information. Shinji found himself staring fixedly at the floor, the almost immediate loss of his hope proving difficult to deal with. 

“I think that is all the information we need.” Rei finally broke the silence, still calm. “We will need to leave tonight if at all possible. I know where we need to go, I only need transportation.” 

“Hey! You can’t just give orders to me all calm like that! Who the hell do you think you are?” Asuka turned on Rei, “What the hell is going on here anyways?!”

“It is not important for you to know.” Rei said flatly, taking no mind to Asuka’s anger, she took a step back and addressed the others, “How quickly can we leave?”

The remaining group was still reluctant to speak. Kensuke seemed less angry and more nervous, Shinji still couldn’t bring himself to speak from how well his last attempts had gone, and Kaworu was blankly staring ahead of him, impossible to read.

Touji seemed to be the least affected, and finally spoke up.

“Asuka, how much did you tell them?”

 

“Nothing? I didn’t think there was anything suspicious...unless you consider the fact that Shinji somehow managed to get a boyfriend something that needs to be reported to the FBI.” She glared at Kaworu, who smiled back uncomfortably. 

Shinji didn’t even bother arguing with her, as it all seemed pointless now anyways.

“Good. What car did you bring?” Touji was still focussed on just solving this as fast as possible, it seemed.

“The truck, why?” 

“Okay, since I have my car too we can at least seat four of us. Rei, come with me to direct me where to go. Two of you are going to have to ride in the bed of one of the trucks, though, so figure that out.” Touji walked up the stairs, apparently having everything already decided. Rei followed like a shadow, leaving the room as quietly as she had entered.

“Well I’m at least driving my own fucking car, even if you won’t tell me what’s going on.” Asuka glared at the remaining members of the group before storming up the stairs herself.  
Shinji looked around at Kensuke and Kaworu, the only other people who hadn’t made a decision yet.

“So what….what are we doing exactly?”

“Don’t ask me,” Kensuke sighed, “I’m just gonna get in the car, you guys can figure out what to do in the back I guess, sorry.” He grumbled his way out of the room with the aura of someone who’s angry, but has no real target to direct it towards.

“So it looks like we’re in the back of the truck. Alright.” Shinji finally approached Kaworu, the two of them left behind.

“Sorry, will that be an issue?”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Shinji let out a nervous laugh, trying to grasp the situation. “So, can you explain to me what exactly is going on now that it seems like everyone is done yelling?”

Kaworu smiled sadly at Shinji and started to lead him out of the room.

“I think I don't have a choice but to go home.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a long wait for a short chapter I'm so sorry...This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer but i really really wanted to be able to publish something on 5/3 and i figured this was a good place to split it regardless ^^" Next chapter should be the last (for real this time lol)

When Shinji and Kaworu made their way outside, everyone else was already in their cars. Touji, rather annoyed, waved to the two of them to get in the back of the truck. Climbing in was a struggle for them both, especially considering that Touji didn’t even wait for Shinji to sit down before speeding out of the driveway, effectively knocking him on his ass.

The back of the truck is about as uncomfortable as expected, with a few toolboxes making it much more cramped than it should've been. Shinji noted, not without some contempt, that the toolboxes were tied down and therefore more secure than he or Kaworu. On the bright side, the cramped conditions did mean he was able to be partly against Kaworu, and in the process he had at least some warmth against the cold night wind.

As the truck made its way down the road, Shinji was quiet. He stared up at the dark sky above him and tried to make sense of what was happening. It had all been too fast to take in before, but now it was all setting in like a rock in his stomach. Somehow, they had been careless enough for the FBI to find out. It would have been easy to say that he had no idea how this could have happened, but in retrospect he could easily see how little effort any of them put into keeping Kaworu’s identity secret, and the guilt was near crushing. He knew that Kaworu needed to go home, hell, he knew that he was safer to just go back since the beginning, but he couldn’t help wondering if there was any way around it. He wasn’t finished yet. He still had so many things he felt he needed to say to Kaworu, and it was unfair of the universe to rip the only person he had felt this close to from him so quickly. He knew what he felt for Kaworu. He had known for a long time, but it was still too terrifying for him to even allow himself to directly think about, and he found himself shaking his head slightly as if the clear the thought.

Shinji fell from his spiral of thought when a sudden warmth covered his hand, resting on the truck bed. His mind immediately went blank as he suddenly turned to Kaworu, only to find he was looking ahead at the retreating road as if grabbing his hand was no big deal.

“You look so sad, I don’t want to see you like that.” Kaworu spoke as softly as he could while still being heard over the road noise, still not looking at Shinji.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad…”

“It’s not that, I just want to leave with happy memories of you.” Kaworu finally looked over as he said this, smiling as he continued, “I think you know by now, but I love you.”

Shinji, somehow managing to forget he was in a moving vehicle, jumped up and was immediately slammed back down into the truck bed, now on his face. He scrambled back up as quickly as he could, his hands were still shaking. When he finally brought himself to look back up at Kaworu, he just looked concerned.

“I’m sorry, was I not supposed to say that?”  
“Did you really mean it? Do you even...Do you even understand what you’re saying?”

Kaworu thought on this for a moment before answering, and Shinji returned to staring at the truck bed.

“From what I can tell, you consider love to be when you care deeply enough for someone that you desire to be around them and trust them fully. I can confirm that all of that is true to how I feel towards you.”

“It really isn’t that easy to define…”

“Am I at least close?” 

“I...I guess so.” Shinji thought on his words a moment longer, trying to make sense of everything yet again, “Yeah, you are.”

They were quiet again after this for a long while, as Shinji looked up at the sky above him. Some of the embarrassment was gone by now, so he could finally start thinking of how to respond. He felt he was being handed something extremely fragile, and he felt saying one wrong word would break it. He took a few deep breaths, and grabbed onto his own arm to steady the shaking. He had to speak now, as lack of action could destroy everything just as easily as the wrong action could.

When he finally spoke, his voice came out wavering, but at least audible.

“I think I might love you too.” Shinji looked to see how Kaworu would react, for some reason still nervous, only to see the other smile and then turn back to the road.

The silence that followed was definitely a little uncomfortable, as Shinji sat with no idea what to say or do next. He eventually settled with laying his hand between the two of them, a hint that Kaworu quickly took as he once again placed his hand over his.

There was a moment of peace before the car went over a bump, managing to nearly kill the two of them, and completely ruining the moment. As annoying as it was, Shinji found himself finally able to think a bit more clearly again as he settled back into his spot. He had briefly forgotten that he didn’t have the ideal amount of time to actually start a relationship, and really he was just letting himself get carried away.

There was one other idea he had to stay with Kaworu. It had been in the back of his mind since the beginning of the trip, but only now had he seriously considered. As he thought about it, though, it seemed like a more viable solution.

“What if I came with you?” He knew he sounded desperate, but it was how he was feeling. When Kaworu didn’t say anything right away, only squeezing his hand slightly, Shinji knew his answer.

“You have too much to live for here, even if you don’t think so.”

“You don’t know that…” Shinji thought on his extremely small circle of friends and homebody living style.

“I know you at have people who care about you here, and they would miss you if you were gone.”

“I guess I can’t argue with you on this…” He wasn’t even disappointed.

Shinji suddenly got the urge to act, then. It was a compulsiveness he was very unused to, which left him wondering if he was finally just losing his mind to stress. He clenched his free hand for a moment before quickly leaning over and, rather poorly, pressing his lips to Kaworu's. 

The kiss was...just about as good as it could have been in the back of a vehicle moving down a bumpy road. The feeling really wasn’t much more than a slight warmth on Shinji’s lips, and once he fully caught up with himself and realised what he had done, he jumped back and covered his face with his hands.

“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking!” He yelled into his palms, squinting his eyes shut.

“Why are you sorry?” Kaworu asked slowly as he touched his fingers to his lips.

“I didn’t mean to...” 

“Did you enjoy it?”

“That doesn’t matter! I moved too suddenly…”

“I didn’t mind at all, you know.” Kaworu gently took Shinji’s hands from his face as he said this, beaming at him. “Can I kiss you again?”

Shinji couldn’t really speak, and opted instead to just nod slightly. Kaworu quickly took the signal and slowly moved to kiss Shinji again. The feeling was much less terrifying to Shinji this time, and while they were still not in a comfortable position or place at all, he found himself falling into it.

Unfortunately, like so many other things in Shinji’s life, the moment was quickly cut off as the car came to a sudden halt in the middle of a dark and empty meadow.

 

\--

 

They were far enough away from the town to have lost all sources of light, and the slim sliver of moon didn’t help much either. The upside to not being able to see, though, was the stunning display of stars overhead, which reminded Shinji of an inverted city.

The tranquility was quickly broken by the sound of car doors opening, which was immediately followed by Asuka being loud.

“So, here we are in the middle of nowhere! Where does this completely trustworthy alien wanna take us next.” She glared at Rei, who didn’t even bother looking at her in response.

“We need to go North. We are almost there.” She had already turned to walk away before even finishing her sentence.

Kensuke was the first to follow after her, after he turned and shrugged to the others. No one else really seemed to have any dissent either, though Asuka managed to stomp as obnoxiously as she could to still express that she wasn’t down with this.

The walk only took about 5 minutes, and the only thing that set the place Rei stopped apart from any of the other surrounding wasteland was a small lump in the dirt near a rather large shrub. Rei walked over and wiped some of the dust from the lump, revealing a dull grey-silver color underneath. She then pressed her hand down on the spot, and a door opened into the floor near her.

“Okay, let’s go.” She turned to Kaworu, who seemed as surprised as everyone else that she wasn’t bothering to say goodbye. 

Kaworu ignored her for a moment, and turned to Shinji to clasp one of his hands in his own. 

“Don’t be sad for me, I am happy enough to know I have a place in your heart.” He smiled, lifting Shinji’s hand up to gently kiss it before returning to where Rei stood.

“Thank you all for all of the help, I truly hope somehow I am able to see you all again.” Kaworu shot a final smile at the small, confused crowd before turning to climb into the ship.

Just as he and Rei were about to enter the door, however, a sudden loud noise stopped them in their tracks. The noise was quickly accompanied by a very bright pair of lights, as a large black vehicle skidded to a stop behind the scared party.

**Author's Note:**

> so this says multi chapter but im not entirely sure if ill continue it lol...if i do ill update tags accordingly though ! thanks for reading c:


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